“Into every life a little rain must fall.” It’s not the “little” rain that causes me so much trouble. If all the challenges were small then remaining strong would be manageable. So let’s talk about the rain that is more than a “little” and could be classified as a torrential downpour.
Adversity, or those trials and challenges in life, often causes a deep and troubled shaking of our inner person. It rattles our confidence, and in this world of uncertainty and turmoil, all we need is another disruption to what we perceive as our stability and security. Just about the time we think we can handle the problems before us, something new and totally unexpected hits us.
Grandma used to say, “If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger.” By now I should be Hercules. I don’t think Grandma was making light of problems, I think she knew that we can survive a lot more than we think we can, and some of it will make us better.
For all the times I have seen people rise to the challenges before them with what I consider unbelievable strength, there seems to be truth in the thought that as humans, we have a very delicate and fragile inner-making that can quickly become unbalanced and unmanageable. Sometimes even though we think we can be strong, we become overwhelmed and have feelings and thoughts we never dreamed of having. Sometimes the feelings we have during these times of great challenge include fear, doubt, unbelief, anger, loneliness, and hopelessness.
While everyone struggles from time to time, those that have a sure and certain foundation of who they are and where they place their trust, are the ones that fair the best. Some people just seem to have a strong character and personality about them that carries them through most storms. But I think these people are in a minority. From my experience, most people need to know they have a source of strength outside themselves.
Just after the tragedy of the terrorist attacks of 9/11, there was an increase in people attending church and turning to God. While I do not know if they have remained true to their “crisis commitments”, I think the desire to reach out in times of trouble is quite common. Perhaps it would be wiser to plan for needs as we will most certainly face adversity in our life at many points.
To your statement: “Sometimes even though we think we can be strong, we become overwhelmed and have feelings and thoughts we never dreamed of having.” Yes, I know this personally, but am happy that I have had challenges to overcome. “Not all is good”….some challenges are so very difficult to resolve. But, when I was teaching in Bahrain, one of my students told me that life was journey on the back of a camel, and how we choose to guide our camel makes all the difference. I will remember this forever. AND I love your site.
Thanks for looking at my site.
Tina, I agree that we are largely in control of our future. We are the greatest factor in our future. All else is just life.
Thanks, sis.
I think this was a very educational article about how people can get threw their problems in life.
Hannah, thanks for taking the time to read my article. Remember, life is full of happy times as well as some challenges along the way.
Thanks again,
This was very inspirational. So many people go through tough times and do not realize that everyone has problems. I myself have been through more in twenty-six years of my life than most have in their whole life, but that is what makes me the person I am today. I am a very strong and independent woman and have battled anxiety and depression when I became a single mother. I am just now where i am off all medication and moving forward with my life.
Shanna, sounds like you have made some great progress in your life. Your belief in yourself as strong and independent will definitely pay off for you. Never be afraid to reach out to healthy people for support and help. I used to say that the most important thing in life is relationships, but I have changed that to the most important thing in life is “healthy” relationships.
Congratulations for winning your battle, keep fighting!
Adversity is always expected in life , but what is not expected is complacency. In life no matter how good your doing never become complacent.
Russell, it sounds to me you are about the embrace “The Worst Enemy of the Best, is Good”. I agree complacency is deadly as well as is accepting what is good instead of pursuing the best, or I have been speaking about lately, the “extraordinary” person we can be.
Keep going!
I found this to be incredibly insightful. That Grandma of yours was a smart lady. I’d even go as far to say I would buy a book if you ever decided to publish one in the future. Why do you believe most people need to have a source of strength outside of themselves, personally I’m nonreligious, but have found the topic very interesting to discuss.
Tabitha, thanks for reading and the comment. Studying history there seems to be a strong thread of people looking outside of themselves, either through some form of God or a higher power, but definitely something bigger and stronger than themselves. I would encourage a book by Timothy Keller “The Reason for God”. It is just really good about the reason for a belief of something or someone outside of ourselves.
Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think of the book. I look forward to hearing back.
Dear Stephen Finzo,
I agree with everything you say. Fantastic Job. I do love your story!! I think you should write a book. I would buy it!! you have a a lot of great facts on here that I agree with. Just keep up the good work!!
Sincerely, Chris Elkins
Chris, thanks for the encouragement. I do enjoy writing and I do have a few projects I am working on including a couple of books that hopefully will be out the end of next year.
Thanks again,
That was very good1
Landon, thanks for reading the blog. Let me know if I can offer anything else to help you.
Thanks again,
Hello, Mr. Stephen Finzo, Psy.D. My Name Antoria Tucker I attend Dyersburg State Community College I was reaching out to tell you I really enjoy your story Adversity.
Antoria, I am glad you enjoyed it. There are a couple more on the site, but I have a few coming. Be encouraged, sometimes going to school is a level of adversity that requires determination but will render significant profits for you.
Thanks,
Dear Stephen Finzo
I agree with your adversity because in life everything is not easy for anyone and if it was then everyone could do the things people couldn’t do the past generations.
Jonathan, remember that adversity only provides opportunity. Either to develop a personal level or to help others. Adversity seems to lend to the development of true relationships.
Thanks for your time,
This is summary of everyone’s life that walk among us, i agree that little problem come into our life and we always get though them. the big problem are always a little harder, but the little one made us stronger and more prepared for the big problems. that give me motivation to stand you to my bigger problem and find a way to solve them. Also “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” has to be true, because if it didn’t make us strong we wouldn’t know what to do when the next problem comes.
Sebastian, I have found accepting life on it’s terms will offer plenty opportunity for dealing with problems and challenges, but the greatest problems we will face will be dealing with ourselves. Never waste time looking for the next problem, they will find you, but how you deal with them will be your choice. Your furthering your education will offer plenty opportunity to broaden perspective and that alone will increase ability to deal with anything that comes your way. Godspeed!
I have always thought that I had a strong character and personality when it comes to facing adversity, but when I became a father the ” little” rain all of sudden felt like it became a torrential downpour. I realized that I do still have that character and personality, just with help from my wife. Even though I am not part of the minority, I am glad that I have a stable source of strength outside of myself and I think that is okay too as long as we both work to get out of the downpour.
Brenden, you are a blessed man. Finding a spouse who is supportive and dependable is a great thing. Enjoy fatherhood, it will be the hardest thing you ever do if you do it right.
Thanks for reading,
Brilliant choice of words and profit like relativity. I would personally read a book written on the topic front to back several times over given the momentum is as strong as this passage. For sure to become a legendary ballad to say the least. Great writing!
Aaron, I am working on a book that will include dealing with adversity at some level as I encourage being the “extraordinary” you. Of course, the book on Dating – either auction or buffet, is underway.
Thanks for reading,
Dear Psy. D Stephen Finzo,
I liked the way you wrote this and broke it down as you wrote it. I agree with that the saying is meant that you’ll get through it even through it’s hard and that’s how life goes but you just have to take everyday one day at a time. Also, i agree with that people do rely on people and turn to church during in a crisis and once they get through it they stop until something else happens.
Angela, it is true that we tend to turn to the outside and seek some level of solace in times of trouble. I have found, and I teach, that remaining in a state of focus will be helpful. I teach to “set the tone” for your day. In other words, determine how you will react in most situations and the outliers will be less overwhelming.
Thanks,
I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Finzo said. Everyone goes through adversity, some are just better at handling it.
Ashley, I agree handling adversity is different for everyone, but there are some commonalities. I believe we all have the ability to withstand and persevere, although, most of us require some outside help from others, especially to help with objectivity.
Thanks for the comment.
Good evening Dr. Stephen Finzo, my name is Taylor Allen and I attend Dyersburg State College. I really enjoyed reading your Advertising excerpt, it is very relatable, period.
Thanks Taylor, Expect some challenges, but never settle or give up. The “best” never comes without some adversity.
Good evening Dr. Stephen Finzo, Psy. D. I am Brittany Payne, I attend here at Dyersburg Community college and I have read your speech and it has caught my attention. I think this really changes societies’ view on humanity. This shows society that “What doesn’t kills you makes you stronger.” Also to show humanity not to give up in life when things get rough through life. “Adversity, or those trials and challenges in life” This comment tells humanity to become scared in life, but not scared physically, more like mentally.
Thank you Brittany,
I enjoy writing and in particular writing that attempts to encourage others. Fear is very debilitating and will rob you of your future. I have found that many people, when faced with adversity, will give up, but “real” life is for those who do not give up or settle. Such as yourself as you are continuing to further your education and create a better future for herself. Don’t give up!
Hey my name is Marquisha Culbreath I attended Dyersburg State Community College I really enjoyed your story adversity.